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Is Your Desire Taking a Vacation? Menopause, Libido, and Loving Your Body

Is Your Desire Taking a Vacation? Menopause, Libido, and Loving Your Body

on Sep 24 2025
Menopause affects women's sexual desire, emphasizing that changes are normal and common. It explains the impact of hormonal shifts on libido and physical responses, while addressing issues like vaginal dryness and offering practical solutions. It is important to acknowledge both hormonal and non-hormonal factors influencing desire.Let's talk about something super important but often whispered about: desire. Specifically, how our desire can change as we gracefully move through midlife and menopause. If you're a woman in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, you might be nodding your head right now. Maybe you've noticed things aren't quite the same, and that's okay! You're so not alone. We're going to unpack why, what's normal, and how you can reclaim your mojo.What's "Normal" Anyway?First, let's ditch the idea that there's a 'right' way to feel about sex. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), sexual health is about physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being related to sexuality, not just the absence of problems. It's about feeling good, safe, and respected. Around 40-50% of women report some kind of change in their sexual function. (Zheng 2020). But here's the kicker: only about 12% are actually bothered by it. (Zheng 2020) So, the key is, how do you feel? If you're happy, you're golden. If not, let's see what we can learn.Menopause and the Libido Rollercoaster Menopause brings a whole bunch of changes, thanks to shifting hormones. Estrogen dips, and that can impact a lot, including our sex drive. You might find that: Desire is different: You may not feel that spontaneous urge like you used to. That's totally normal. Our bodies shift, and so does our desire. Arousal takes more work: Lower estrogen can mean less blood flow and lubrication, which can make getting turned on a bit more challenging. But we have solutions, keep reading! Orgasm feels different: Some women experience changes in the intensity or frequency of orgasms. The Desire Duo: Spontaneous vs. ResponsiveHere's a fun fact: There are generally two types of desire:1. Spontaneous Desire: This is that "out of the blue" urge that hits you.2. Responsive Desire: This type emerges in response to stimulation or a specific context. Okay, so it’s common that the sudden, "out of the blue" desire (spontaneous desire) might take a little vacation during menopause. Actually, this is common in all long-term relationships.  But don't worry, that doesn't mean the party's over! This is where the magic of responsive desire comes in. Think of responsive desire as a slow-burn romance. It's not about instantly needing to jump into bed; it's about building the desire through the experience. It's like planting a seed and watching it grow. Here's how it works:It starts with stimulation or a context: Instead of feeling the urge out of nowhere, responsive desire is triggered by something external; maybe a touch, a kiss, a flirty text, a romantic setting, or even just the idea of being intimate.Arousal is Key: Responsive desire often follows physical arousal. As you engage in foreplay, your body starts to respond, and that physical response can actually create the desire. It's like your body is saying, "Hey, this feels good! Let's explore this!"With responsive desire, it's really about enjoying the process. It's about savouring the touch, the connection, the sensual experience. The focus is on building the desire gradually, rather than feeling like you have to be "in the mood" right away. During menopause, many women find their spontaneous desire takes a little vacation. But that doesn't mean desire is gone forever! You can still experience great sex through responsive desire.Vaginal Dryness: The Uninvited GuestLet's get real about vaginal dryness. It's a common side effect of lower estrogen, and it can make sex uncomfortable or even painful.Why does it happen? Less estrogen means less natural lubrication. And here’s the thing… painful, uncomfortable sex is not really a sexual experience you will desire. I can't say it enough: you must be having sex worth desiring. And  NO ONE will desire painful sex. Tips to Reclaim Your Desire Communicate: Talk to your partner about what feels good and what doesn't.Schedule Sex: It might sound unromantic, but sometimes putting it on the calendar can help build anticipation. Create the Mood: Set the stage for intimacy with candles, music, or whatever helps you relax. Self-Care: Take care of your body and mind. Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. Don’t Compare: This is not your younger self. There is something to be said about being an experienced lover. Explore your likes and dislikes and find something that works just for you. If changes in your sexual desire are causing significant distress, don't hesitate to seek help. A therapist or counsellor specializing in sexual health can offer valuable support and guidance.Menopause is a transition, not a destination. Your body is changing, and that's okay. By understanding what's happening and taking proactive steps, you can continue to have a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life. Embrace your body, explore your desires, and remember that you deserve to experience pleasure too! This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any health concerns or before making any decisions related to your health or treatment.  
I use vaginal hormones, do I still need a moisturizer or a lubricant?

I use vaginal hormones, do I still need a moisturizer or a lubricant?

on Sep 24 2025
Vaginal hormones rebuild tissue, but they aren’t an “anytime” solution. Moisturizers keep tissue hydrated between hormone doses, and lubricants support comfort during intimacy. Together, they create a complete dryness-care plan. Why Your Prescription Isn’t the Whole Story When it comes to treating vaginal dryness and discomfort, we know that vaginal hormone therapy is the gold standard. Local estrogen, DHEA, or combo vaginal therapies are brilliant at rebuilding tissue that’s thinned out after menopause. They restore vaginal tone, boost blood flow, and help your cells make their own natural moisture again.  But here’s the thing: hormones alone don’t always solve everything.  Vaginal hormone therapy works beautifully, but it doesn’t work overnight and is not designed to be used “as much as you want.” If you try to increase your dose or use it more frequently without medical supervision, there’s a risk of increased systemic (full body) absorption. That’s why dosing schedules are carefully designed and why you may still find yourself with dryness in between applications. Where moisturizers fit (your everyday comfort tool) That’s where a vaginal moisturizer enters the conversation. Vaginal/vulvar moisturizers hydrate tissue and improve day-to-day comfort. They can be used on the days you’re not applying your prescription. For many people, adding a moisturizer makes the treatment plan much more effective and helps bridge the gap between hormone doses when dryness can affect your quality of life.  Where lubricants fit (your high-friction helper) Even with hormones and moisturizers, you may still need a little extra support during sex or any activity that increases friction. That’s where a good personal lubricant comes into play…literally. Lubricants are designed for short-term relief and comfort and can make a noticeable difference in pleasure, connection and confidence.  Pro tip: Keep your moisturizer beside your toothbrush, and your lubricant on your nightstand. Hydration shouldn’t be a treasure hunt. Q: Will IRIS mess with my prescription’s absorption?A: Used on your prescription off-days, a non-hormonal moisturizer shouldn’t interfere with your hormone absorption. Follow your prescriber’s instructions for your individual timing and dose needs. Q: Can I quit hormones if IRIS feels good enough?A: Hormones treat the root cause (estrogen loss). IRIS treats surface comfort. They complement one another; they do not replace each other. Q: Do I need both a moisturizer and a lubricant?A: If vulvar or vaginal dryness (itchiness, discomfort, pain) bothers you daily, the moisturizer is your staple. If sex, tampon insertion, or speculum exams still pinch, keep the lubricant handy. Many patients love using both. Educational only. Not a substitute for individualized medical advice. If you have a history of hormone-sensitive cancer, discuss options with your oncology and menopause care team.  
Tackling GSM for a better menopause experience.

Tackling GSM for a better menopause experience.

on Sep 21 2025
Menopause is more than just hot flashes and mood swings. Significant changes are happening in the vaginal area that deserve attention. No need for embarrassment here, it’s time to get into the real conversation when it comes to menopause! Let's explore GSM and uncover some essential education to stay comfortable, confident, and informed. Understanding Menopause and GSM Menopause marks the end of a woman's reproductive years, diagnosed after 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period, typically occurring between ages 49 and 521. While hot flashes, night sweats, sleep disturbances, and mood swings due to hormonal changes are widely recognized symptoms, the vaginal changes associated with menopause are often overlooked. This collection of symptoms is known as Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM). The Lowdown on GSM First things first, let’s demystify Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM). GSM is a collection of signs and symptoms associated with the decreased levels of estrogen and other sex hormones that occur during menopause. These hormonal changes affect the genitourinary tract, including the vulva, vagina, urethra, and bladder. GSM is a comprehensive term that encompasses various symptoms, which can significantly impact a woman's quality of life. Unlike many of the other menopausal symptoms, vaginal changes tend to be progressive, meaning they will continue to worsen over time if not treated1. Despite its prevalence, GSM remains under-discussed and often untreated, leading to unnecessary discomfort. The time to change that, is NOW - because who has time for unnecessary discomfort?   Take a look and ask yourself: Do any of these symptoms look familiar? If you see something that resonates, it might be time to explore further and start a conversation with your healthcare provider. Genital: Vaginal dryness, irritation, burning, itching, thinning greying pubic hair, decreased vaginal elasticity, tissue fragility, fissures. Sexual: Loss of libido (decreased arousal, orgasm, and desire), reduced lubrication, bleeding after sex, discomfort or pain during sexual activity, painful orgasm. Urinary: Urinary urgency and frequency, reccurent UTIs, urethral prolapse, pain with urination, stress/urgency incontinence.   Why GSM is the Elephant in the Room Despite the significant impact GSM can have on the quality of life for many menopausal and postmenopausal women, it remains a topic not often talked about. But why? Stigma and Embarrassment: Many people feel uncomfortable discussing intimate issues related to their vulvovaginal health. The stigma surrounding topics like vaginal dryness and urinary incontinence can make women hesitant to bring up their symptoms, even with their healthcare providers. Because, let's face it, talking about dryness is about as fun as discussing tax season. Lack of Awareness: GSM is still relatively unknown to the general public. Many women are unaware that their symptoms are part of menopause and can be effectively managed. It’s like finding out the secret menu at your favourite café – who knew there were options?! Healthcare Provider Conversations: Even in the doctor’s office, conversations about GSM can be brief or overlooked. Healthcare providers might focus on other aspects of menopause, not fully addressing the genitourinary symptoms. In a Spanish study, only 11% of participants said their healthcare providers initiated discussions about vulvovaginal symptoms during menopause2. Reflect on your own experience: Have you discussed your vaginal health with your healthcare provider, and if not, what questions could you ask to start that conversation? Cultural and Societal Norms: Cultural attitudes towards aging and menopause often contribute to the silence around GSM. Many societies view menopause as a topic to be quietly endured rather than openly discussed. Because apparently, pretending it doesn’t exist makes it go away, right? Action Plan: Managing GSM Transitioning from understanding why GSM is under-discussed, let's explore both effective non-hormonal and hormonal treatment options that can help manage these symptoms and improve your quality of life. Non-Hormonal Treatment Options Vaginal/Vulvar Moisturizers: Moisturizers can be purchased over the counter and used alone or alongside other hormonal treatments for GSM. They rehydrate vaginal tissue, increase vaginal secretions, change the hydration of the vaginal cells, and decrease pH (which helps maintain moisture and acidity)3. Moisturizers can be used daily for long-lasting discomfort associated with vaginal dryness and the effects should ideally last for 2-3 days. Many vaginal moisturizers contain hyaluronic acid because it has a unique ability to bind water molecules and hydrate the skin3. When GSM is mild, hyaluronic acid may be as effective as vaginal estrogen with regards to vaginal atrophy, vaginal pH, and painful sex4.IRIS Vulva Moisturizer, which is specifically formulated with hyaluronic acid to bind water molecules and hydrate the skin, is designed to maintain optimal pH balance, providing long-lasting relief from vaginal dryness and discomfort. The ingredients are evidence-based and the product offers an effective, non-hormonal option for managing GSM symptoms. Laser Therapy: Laser therapy is said to work by stimulating the body to repair and heal tissue, thereby regenerating new cells. The lasers operate by targeting various layers of the skin through different wavelengths. Treatments are typically spaced 4-6 weeks apart and can become quite costly. One notable benefit of laser therapy is that it eliminates the need for daily product application. Vaginal Lubricants: Lubricants can support the maintenance of healthy sexual function in people after menopause by reducing pain during intercourse or any type of vaginal penetration. They can be either water, silicone, or oil-based and used during intercourse. They are shorter-acting than vaginal moisturizers and should be used only during penetration, whereas a moisturizer should be used daily. Water-based lubricants tend to be favoured because they are the most similar to the body’s natural lubrication. They offer easy clean-up and are compatible with condoms, and both silicone dilators and toys. However, water-based lubricants tend to have the most potential to be irritating because of factors such as pH and osmolarity3. The World Health Organization recommends if lubricants are used for vaginal use, then a pH of 4.5 is preferable and osmolarity should not exceed 1200 mOsm/kg5.For a water-based option that aligns with these recommendations, consider using IRIS Personal Lubricant. It is formulated to maintain a pH of 4.5, and an ideal osmolarity, ensuring compatibility with the body’s natural lubrication and reducing the risk of irritation. IRIS Personal Lubricant not only alleviates pain during intercourse but also provides a gentle, soothing experience for other intimate activities. Hormonal Treatment Options For those with more severe and persistent GSM symptoms, prescription therapies may provide more relief. Vaginal Hormone Therapy: Vaginal estrogen therapy can provide significant relief from vaginal symptoms and can be administered via cream, suppository, or ring6. Examples include Premarin cream, Vagifem, Imvexxy, and Estring. Another option is vaginal Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), a hormone that the body converts into both estrogens and androgens; an example of this is the product Intrarosa. Both vaginal estrogen and vaginal DHEA have been shown to restore vaginal elasticity, reduce vaginal pH, reduce vaginal dryness, and alleviate local discomfort without increasing hormone levels elsewhere in the body6. Systemic Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT): Systemic Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT) involves the use of hormones that benefit the whole body, rather than targeting the vaginal area alone. This therapy is available as oral medications or topical treatments such as creams and patches. Despite its widespread effects, systemic MHT may not alleviate vaginal atrophy symptoms in 10-22% of women, even at higher doses7. For those on systemic MHT for other symptoms of menopause, like hot flashes, adding a vaginal moisturizer or low-dose vaginal hormone therapy can help address persistent vaginal symptoms. Let’s Make Some Noise Despite the prevalence of GSM, it often goes undiscussed due to stigma, lack of awareness, and cultural norms. But breaking the silence is the first step towards better health. Here are some tips: Start the Conversation: Reflect on your own experience. Have you discussed your vaginal health with your healthcare provider? If not, what questions could you ask to start that conversation? Stay Informed: Knowledge is power. Understanding your symptoms and the available treatment options can help you make informed decisions about your health. Seek Support: You’re not alone. Many women experience GSM, and there are communities and resources available to offer support and share experiences. Flourish and Bloom Understanding and addressing Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM) is essential for maintaining comfort and confidence during menopause. By seeking support from healthcare providers and using effective treatments, you can significantly improve your quality of life during menopause. Reflect on your journey: How can you advocate for your health today? Maybe you share your experience with a trusted friend, book a doctor’s appointment or read more to keep learning. We suggest uncovering The Science of Lubes on the IRIS blog.    Disclaimer The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. While we strive to provide accurate and up-to-date information, it should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. References Koothirezhi, R. & Ranganathan, S. Postmenopausal Syndrome. in StatPearls (StatPearls Publishing, 2021). Palacios, S., Cancelo, M. J., Branco, C. C., Llaneza, P., Molero, F., & Borrego, R. S. (2017). Vulvar and vaginal atrophy as viewed by the Spanish REVIVE participants: Symptoms, management and treatment perceptions. Climacteric, 20(1), 55–61.  Cox, P., & Panay, N. (2023). Non-hormonal treatments for managing vulvovaginal atrophy/genitourinary syndrome of menopause. Climacteric, 26(4), 367–372. Santos, C. C. M. dos, Uggioni, M. L. R., Colonetti, T., Colonetti, L., Grande, A. J., & Rosa, M. I. D. (2021). Hyaluronic Acid in Postmenopause Vaginal Atrophy: A Systematic Review. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 18(1), 156–166. World Health Organization. Use and procurement of additional lubricants for male and female condoms: WHO/UNFPA/FHI360. 2020 NAMS GSM position statement Archer, D. F. (2010). Efficacy and tolerability of local estrogen therapy for urogenital atrophy. Menopause, 17(1), 194–203.
Navigating changes in vulvar health.

Navigating changes in vulvar health.

on Sep 21 2025
Remember, life is not one size fits all, we’re all different. Life is a journey filled with milestones, both big and small, expected and unexpected. From our first steps as infants to our career achievements and beyond, each stage brings new experiences and challenges. Yet, one aspect of our well-being that often goes overlooked in these discussions is vulvar health. Skin is skin. As vulva owners, our bodies undergo numerous changes throughout our lives, and our vulvar health is no exception. From puberty to menopause and everything in between, understanding these changes and how to care for our vulva is crucial for our overall well-being. To navigate these transitions with confidence and to feel informed is an essential tool, but it shouldn't be a luxury. Health information and education should be a given, not something we're surprised people know. As women, our bodies undergo numerous changes throughout our lives, and our vulvar health is no exception. From puberty to menopause and everything in between, understanding these changes and how to care for our vulvas is crucial for our overall well-being. Below, we'll highlight some of the major changes you might experience during three hormonal milestones: puberty, pregnancy, and menopause. Remember, life is not one size fits all, we’re all different. And, as always if you have a health concern, talk to your primary care physician for individualized care. The first big change is puberty. As we move into adulthood, factors such as sexual activity, childbirth, and hormonal fluctuations continue to impact our vulvar health. From maintaining proper hygiene to addressing discomfort or infections, staying proactive and informed is key to promoting vulvar wellness. Puberty marks the beginning of our journey into adulthood, accompanied by hormonal changes that affect the vulva. For many, this time may bring about questions and concerns about menstruation, hygiene, and the development of their vulvas. Pubic hair: Don't be surprised if you start noticing some fuzz down there - as time goes on, that hair will become thicker and more abundant. Labial growth: Alongside the growth of pubic hair, you might also notice changes in the appearance of your labia minora—the inner lips of the vulva. During puberty, these delicate tissues may undergo growth and development, becoming more prominent. It's essential to understand that these changes are a natural part of your body's development, reflecting the unique way in which your vulva is maturing. Vulvar hyperpigmentation: Hyperpigmentation, the darkening of vulvar skin due to hormonal fluctuations, is a common occurrence during puberty, similar to how other areas of your body, such as your underarms or inner thighs, might darken. If you don’t look, how will you be able to advocate at the Dr’s office if something has changed? Next up, for those interested in childbirth. Pregnancy and postpartum are significant milestones, often accompanied by changes in vulvar anatomy and function. From stretching and tearing during vaginal delivery to hormonal shifts postpartum, the vulva undergoes transformations that require attention and care Increased discharge: Pregnancy often brings an increase in vaginal discharge due to hormonal shifts. To manage this, consider using breathable underwear and changing often. Scar tissue: After childbirth, scar tissue may form following tears, episiotomies or stitches. Your healthcare provider should suggest treatments to speed up healthing, however pelvic floor physiotherapy might be a good option. Breastfeeding and vaginal dryness: Hormonal changes during breastfeeding can lead to decreased vaginal lubrication. To address this discomfort, you may want to try a vulvar/vaginal moisturizer for daily use and a personal lubricant during intimate moments for enhanced comfort and pleasure. The last major hormonal transition is through menopause. Menopause brings its own set of changes, as declining estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness, irritation, and increased susceptibility to infections. It's essential to prioritize self-care during this stage, seeking out solutions such as moisturizers, vaginal hormones and lubricants to alleviate discomfort and maintain vulvar health. Vaginal dryness: Vaginal dryness can lead to irritation and discomfort, especially during menopause. If you are experiencing challenges adjusting your wardrobe to accommodate, you might want to consider incorporating a vulvar moisturizer into your daily routine to relieve dryness and discomfort. For some individuals, a moisturizer alone may not be sufficient, and vaginal hormones might offer additional relief. Many find that using a vulvar moisturizer alongside vaginal hormone application can provide comprehensive relief. Reduction in size of the labia and clitoris: During menopause, some may experience a reduction in the size of the labia and clitoris due to hormonal changes. While these changes are natural, they can sometimes cause discomfort or affect self-esteem. Hypopigmentation of the skin: Hypopigmentation, or a loss of skin color, can occur in the vulvar area during menopause due to the loss of hormones.   Throughout these milestones and beyond, it's crucial to foster open, honest conversations about vulvar health with your primary health practitioner. It’s literally why we started IRIS, to build the conversation. Breaking down taboos and stigma surrounding topics such as vaginal dryness, itching, or pain can empower women to seek help and more importantly, take proactive and preventative steps to care for their vulvas.As we celebrate life's milestones, let's not forget to prioritize our vulvar skin, not just the skin on our face and elbows. By staying informed, proactive, and unapologetic about our needs, we can embrace each stage of life with confidence and vitality. After all, our vulvar health is an integral part of our overall well-being, deserving of attention, care, and celebration at every turn.
Get to know your vulva.

Get to know your vulva.

on Sep 21 2025
In this episode, Dr. Dolores Fernandez, a Naturopathic Doctor and the owner of IRIS personal care products talks about the importance of getting connected with vulvovaginal health, how skin is skin is skin and why you need to understand “normal” so you can pay attention to changes. Listen here.   Diagnosing and Treating Gynecological Dermatology Conditions Takeaway: There is a gap in the healthcare field between gynecology and dermatology, leading to challenges in diagnosing and treating conditions specifically related to vulvar and vaginal health. Specialists often focus narrowly on their area, which can result in missed or misdiagnosed conditions that require a broader interdisciplinary understanding.   Importance of Vaginal Health Awareness Takeaway: There is a notable deficiency in the general awareness of vaginal health issues across different life stages. Education and open discussion are crucial in recognizing symptoms, avoiding misdiagnosis, and promoting overall vaginal health to ensure proper care and treatment.Education on Lubricant Products Takeaway: Lubricants vary widely in quality, and there is a lack of regulation and standardization, which underscores the need for education on the chemistry and quality of personal care products. Understanding key aspects like pH balance, preservatives, osmolarity, and ingredients contribute to making informed choices and preventing adverse reactions.The Evolving Needs of Vaginal Care Takeaway: Women should consider the evolving nature of their vaginal care needs as they age and stay informed about the latest science and product developments. It is imperative for women to adapt their care regimen in response to changes in their bodies to maintain optimal vaginal healthNormalization and Stigma Reduction in Vulvar Health Takeaway: Breaking down the stigma and fostering an environment where conversations about vulval health are normalized is essential. Knowledge of one's own anatomy, being vigilant to symptoms, and discussing experiences can encourage a supportive atmosphere, leading to better healthcare outcomes and advancements in research and education related to vulval and vaginal health.
The low down on lubes.

The low down on lubes.

on Sep 20 2025
The market is gushing with products - oil, silicone or water-based lubes are sliding onto bedside tables everywhere. What’s important? Making informed decisions is the key to optimal vulvovaginal health. Consider factors like osmolarity and pH to minimize irritation and sensitivity. Choosing the right lube can make all the difference in pleasure, comfort, and safety during use.

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